


Take it all back

by IamRegretingThis



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: >:), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Sorry, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Unrequited Love, im sad, raihan says fuck, they talk for a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26441719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamRegretingThis/pseuds/IamRegretingThis
Summary: Loving someone for so long hurts like hell.---“I put you above everything, Lee,” he tried, “You were my world. I- I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t want us to be different, I didn’t want to screw everything up, even if I yearned and yearned and yearned every single day,”
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Dande | Leon/Sonia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Take it all back

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this within an hour jazzed up by some sparkling water. Enjoy.

“How long did you love me?”

Raihan could feel Leon’s gaze, but he kept his head high, watching the endless sky pass into daybreak. _How did he end up here?_ He thought. He sunk further back into the glass of the battle tower, tucking his knees in to make himself as small as possible.

“Raihan, how long-” 

“Too long,” Raihan answered before Leon could push more. A familiar pit formed in his stomach, something he hadn’t felt in a while, “Too long for you to imagine. Damn… too long for me to even remember,”

The taller man finally turned to look into those bright golden eyes he used to yearn for. Something inside felt them all too real and all too sad.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Leon leaned closer his way, “Why did you just... let me go?”

“You seemed happier that way,” he hesitated, “...I didn’t want to lose that. Your happiness, I mean. It was too important for you… and for me,”

“But!” the purple-haired man stood up, “How did you just watch me leave you behind! After I chased tail for so many people, you didn’t say anything? You know your happiness is important too!”

“You never seemed the type to go for me,” he turned away, “and I’m certainly not the type to confess first,”

“But why could you let me break your heart? How-”

“Can you just stop?” Raihan voice dropped low, “Can you just take it and leave it? I had to get over you one way or another, ok! It was the fucking hardest thing I had ever done. I was so sure you and Sonia last year-”

His voice felt wet, every bit of his body was trembling. He had long since drawn his gaze away from those eyes that damned him from the start, barely focusing on the rising sun, but he still felt them. The sickly sweet feeling made his stomach twist.

“I was so- so sure,” he continued as he caught his tears with his sleeve, “so sure that, one day, I would see that inevitable invitation to your wedding in my hands, so sure that you’d come up to me and say _‘be my best man!’_ , so sure that I was gonna lose you more than I already had.” he swallowed, “You didn’t break my heart, Leon, I can’t blame you for that. I did it before you ever noticed you could,”

Wiping his tears seemed useless now as it felt like an ever-flowing stream. Raihan wished with every fibre of his being that they would stop. Why did he have to love? Why did it still hurt? 

It was so quiet now. Nothing but his silent tears and their waking city filled the air.

“I put you above everything, Lee,” he tried, “You were my world. I- I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t want us to be different, I didn’t want to screw everything up, even if I yearned and yearned _and yearned_ every single day,”

Raihan stopped talking. He wanted more than anything for this feeling to stop and move on, as he wanted to all those years ago. He felt like such a mess curled up at the edge of the battlefield, knowing that the man he loved was watching.

Suddenly, he felt something push past his barricade of limbs, pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“Could you love me again?” the shorter man uttered.

“What?”

“Could you love me?” Leon pulled out of the hug, and held the other man’s head, “Could you? After everything, Could you love me again? I want to try. I’ve loved you for a while, not as long as you, but enough,”

Raihan couldn’t feel. The desperation he could see in those golden eyes, the want he saw. He pulled away.

Standing up, he left Leon on the floor and stepped away.

“Why?” anger replaced the sadness and guilt that he felt before, “You did ask me this now? I told you, Leon! I just told you that I wanted to move on! Why did you have to make this so difficult?”

“I’m sorry, but Rai-” he reached forward.  
  


“NO, LEON!” he snapped, “I wanted that too long ago! You are so many years too late. You really think you could just- just leave me like this for so many years and think everything will be fine? That nothing would change? Fuck Lee, I tried my best to not blame _you_ for _my_ feelings and yet here you are! Waltzing after I spilled my old feelings, and thinking you could just say something like that and think everything will be fine!”

Looking down at the man before him, he saw the fear in his eyes, his dashing gaze trying to think of something to say. 

“Leon, you really thought that I’d say I’d could love you again,” he felt hot tears well up in his eyes. His voice hitched, “Fuck, Lee… I could never stop loving you, even if I tried. And I tried so goddamn much,”

“Raihan?”

“ _Shit_ ,” he covered his eyes, “how could I ever stop loving you?”

Falling to his knees, he felt defeated. This was supposed to be the closure he needed to move forward. The words of refusal never came as he prepared for. Nothing went how it was supposed to.

Every hitch in his voice was so prevalent in the echoing dome. Arms, once again, pulled him into an embrace. He wanted so badly to push away again, but, instead, he leaned in, wanting the warmth that followed.

Soft apologies ran into his shoulder as he cried in the arms of the man he still loved. The orange of the sunrise danced with the purple of the disappearing night, making the day now known. 

His breathing steadied more, but his grip held on tight, burying himself in the other man’s purple hair. He felt safe.

“I’ll love you,” Raihan said steadily, “I’ll love you through this mess we’re in. I’ll love you even though you are such a stupid, dense, idiot of a man. But, I can’t start anything with you. Not right now,” 

“I’ll love you too,” Leon huffed, “We have a lot to work through, but I’ll love you. I’m sorry it took me this long,”

“Give me time,” the taller man muttered, “I need time to think, just for a little while, then you can take me on as many cheesy dates I know you planned for,”

“You waited for me for this long, I promise I’ll wait.” Leon chuckled as he pulled away, “I want you to know, I wanted you too, not as long, but I loved you too, I was too much of a coward to say anything, ”

“I guess we are both cowards, huh?” Raihan leaned back, watching the sky as it turned blue.

Leon followed suit, lying next to the taller man, watching the clouds pass by.

“I guess we are,”

**Author's Note:**

> \- I so sad :(


End file.
